Lesson 3:

YOUR Core Challenges

Hey there rebel,

So far we talked about how habits work and how we can change them, and we talked about some limiting beliefs most of us creatives hold at some point in our lives, and how to change the damaging stories we tell ourselves.

Now we’re going to stop beating around the bush and go straight to the HEART of the matter: Your core challenges. 

First, let me explain what a core challenge is...

“Your core challenge is something that you always struggle with, something that you have always struggled with.”

I’m not talking about a bad habit that you have, like putting things off until the last minute. I’m talking about something that you find hard to do.

For example, maybe you can never complete your creative projects. Or maybe you can’t sustain your motivation for long enough, and so every time you’re working on something, it just sizzles out and gives way to a new something. In these examples your core challenges are: COMPLETION & MOTIVATION.

(And if those are your core challenges, no wonder you have so many bad creative habits! But don't worry, we'll tackle them in a bit.)

We're going to go through the following process:

1. Identify your core challenges.

2. Figure out what the reasons behind them are.

3. Brainstorm ways to turn them around.

Ready? :)

1. Identify your core challenges.

Before we can do anything about them, we have to first identify your core challenges. Think about the things that you find most difficult.

Here, I'll start with mine....

• completing projects
• staying in the present moment
• having confidence in myself (and my abilities)

Those are definitely my top 3 core challenges, and they are CORE because they affect everything I do: how I approach things, the progress I make, how I treat my creations, and so on. Everything stems from these challenges.

I already told you about my difficulty to complete projects. It's a really damning challenge because if you never finish anything, you'll never get it out into the world either and you'll beat yourself about being flaky, etc.

I also cannot, for the life of me, stay in the present moment. I keep hopping to the future (thanks mom!) because maybe the present is too boring? I don't know why, I just know that this discombobulated existence in the future is causing me to jump the gun on things, create products I probably don't need right now, launch a giant program that is slightly premature, etc.

Finally, the confidence thing AFFECTS EVERYTHING ELSE. The difference between having confidence in yourself and not having it is the difference between success and failure, between happiness and misery.

2. List your "reasons" for struggling with those.

Completing a project used to be my biggest core challenge.

I just couldn't complete anything for the life of me. I started many amazing creative projects, collaborations, blogs, and so on, but almost none were lucky enough to be completed by yours truly. They usually just fizzled out after a while or flopped because I couldn't sustain them the way I needed to.

And there are specific reasons for this:

1. I get easily bored.
2. I get too many ideas every day.
3. I prefer beginning over finishing because:
   • The act of finishing is sad because the thing you love is done.
   • The prospect of new ideas is always more exciting.
4. I am a sprinter, not a marathoner, and yet, I insist on overcomplicating projects, until they become so overwhelming that they are too much for me to handle, and btw, I almost never ask for help when I need it.

You see, my core challenge is so difficult because it's associated with all of these bad reasons and habits that I have built, and also associated with my not respecting my own process or how I naturally do things.

“Not respecting your process is the worst thing you can do!”

(But we'll talk about this in detail in our next lesson.)

Now it's your turn! List all the reasons for every core challenge that you have, and keep listing until you can't think of any more reasons. 

Do you have your lists?

Now look at them and check for:

1. bad habits
2. limiting beliefs, rationalizations, and excuses
3. going against your nature

We all do these things all the time. Your brain will rationalize (even in ways that aren't true) and it will always opt to stay in its comfort zone. But remember, progress and success do not live there.

For example, from my list I can see:

1. Overcomplicating things is a bad habit
2. Starting new things before finishing the old is a bad habit
3. The sprinter not a marathoner thing is true, but the overcomplicating things is definitely going against my simplicity-favoring nature
4. Getting bored and too many ideas are excuses for not sitting on my butt and working hard to complete what I've started
5. Etc.

“Listen, all of these things are making your life difficult and miserable, so it’s time to retire them. ”

3. Brainstorm ways to counter them.

So now that we know your core challenges and the "reasons" for them, we can figure out how to create better habits that specifically target those challenges and reasons. We can turn your limiting beliefs around, get rid of those pesky excuses and rationalizations, and go back to the natural way you do things.

What you can do from here:

• Change your bad habits by simple replacement (the one from lesson one) OR create new habits that will specifically target those challenges
• Turn your limiting beliefs and rationalizations around and just get rid of those excuses right now because that's not who you are
• Identify any instances where you go against your Nature and get rid of them, so you can go back to the way you do things naturally

If you remember, I said that completing things used to be my top challenge.

Now, I'm proud to report that it's no longer my top challenge because this year I have completed almost every thing I started (including huge projects).

Huzzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

How did I do it?

First I made that list of the things that were stopping me.

Mainly, the things in my way were my limiting belief that I wasn't capable of finishing things (I fought that one by finishing something small and "proving" to my logical brain that I was indeed capable of it), and the other ones were my tendency to go against myself and not ask for help.

I was going against myself by making everything too complicated (which doesn't fit me), so my solution was to break down any big projects into small chunks or even better, just start small projects. Finally, I pushed myself to get out of my comfort zone and ask for help, including hiring a virtual assistant.

*insert horrified face here*

Actually, once you start doing the unthinkable - like asking people for help or hiring people to pick up your slack - it won't be as hard as you thought, or even if it is, you'll immediately feel relief because you needed it.

“And now, for the biggest thing that helped me with completing my projects - developing a daily habit of writing and learning to consistently create, whatever mood I was in.”

That was definitely my biggest tipping habit. (More in Lesson 5!)

Now it's your turn...

How will you take on your core challenges and win?

Take action.

Here are the steps we covered, plus something extra. 

1. Identify your core challenges

2. List all of your imaginary reasons for them

3. Identify what is a habit, what's a limiting belief, etc.

4. Brainstorm ways to change the habits by replacement OR create new (tipping) habits that will affect everything you struggle with

Experimentation is everything.  

I was recently reminded why experimentation is the most important thing you can do when you're attempting to overcome your limitations.

(I mean perceived limitations, of course.)

A couple of months ago I talked to my accountability buddy with whom I meet twice every week, and to be honest, sometimes we get sh*t done and sometimes we don't because we're not robots. 

Anywho, she told me about this tool called focusmate, and my immediate reaction was, I don't have time for this. Nevertheless, I tried it that same week and lo and behold, it changed my life. It's basically virtual coworking so for 50 minutes you get to work alongside someone, your cameras are on, your mikes are muted, and there's the accountability you need THE MOMENT you need it. Not before you have to do the task or after, but right when you're doing sh*t. 

Let's just say in 1 month I have done more work than I'd done in 1 year and that I've never done so much boring work either. I've had over 100 sessions with all kinds of different people worldwide, and I still use it every single day. 

And it's free... can this get any better?!

So if you ever automatically reject something just because you think, in your head, that it's going to take time or energy, try it first, to make sure.

If you want to have a focus session with a fellow rebel, go here. 

And let me know how you're getting on in the comments. :)