Lesson 2:

Your Limiting Beliefs

 

Hey there rebel,

So far we talked about some of the habits that hold creatives back and about the way habits work, and how we can change them for the better by replacing the middle part of the habit process (the routine, or response).

And now we’ll take a tiny step back and examine some of the other things that stand in your way when it comes to having better habits. 

Before we attempt to improve your habits, you have to be aware of these trouble-makers. Think of it as quicksand - you don't know what's happening until it's already happening, and that's exactly what these suckers do.

I'm talking about your limiting beliefs.

You’ve heard about those, right? They’re the stories we tell ourselves, the narratives running inside our heads, the voices that tell us what we can and can't do, and they're more often than not, WRONG.

They mean well though. You formed them when you really needed to protect yourself, but later when the threat was over, you kept believing them! And even though they are no longer serving you, but limiting your capabilities and your potential, your brain clings to them because they've helped you in the past.

And if something helped you in the past, it's hard to let go of it.

But you have to see what they really are. 

“They’re stories that hold you back from making progress, creating joyfully, and getting the things you want. ”

And there are so many limiting beliefs in the creative world!

Some of them you won’t even think are limiting until someone points them out to you and some others you'll really want to cling to, even though you know they're bad for you. (Hello, it's called a comfort zone.)

Let’s list some of the usual and most harmful suspects, to try and understand why you’re at the impasse where you have found yourself.

Limiting Belief #1:
"I’m only creative when…"

This is extremely common among creative folk.

Any way you finish that sentence, it is a limiting belief…

• I’m only creative when I’m inspired.
• I'm only creative early in the morning.
• I'm only creative when I've had a nice sleep.
• I’m only creative when it’s November and I have had my ears cleaned out.
• I’m only creative when my favorite team has won.
• Etc.

If you ask me, it’s not just some, they are all ridiculous!

The idea that you would tie your creativity to anything outside of yourself, and that you would make it dependent like that, is outrageous. You’re basically tying your creativity to this pole – like a dog – and saying, I’ll only walk you at these times of the year when these conditions are met. Understand?

Ughh – NO!

If I'm your creativity and you do that to me, I’ll vamoose and never come back when you beckon. And I'll pee all over your carpet. 

“There’s a big difference between feeling naturally creative and inspired and actually sitting down to create. ”

The former happens rarely and the latter can happen every day, and if you only do the former, then you'll always be dependent on your limitations.

And we both know who set's those limitations, right? ;)

What would happen if instead, you told yourself that your creativity is limitless? What would happen if you told yourself that your creativity depends on you showing up every day instead of waiting for the Muse to grace you with its flaky presence? Why not start a daily practice of showing up and creating?!

Today. 

When I started writing every day, it was awkward at first, and my old limiting beliefs were creating resistance, but in a couple of weeks there was no resistance, just flow. And I was better because of all the practice.

Now every time I write, it flows. Whatever mood I’m in at the moment.

This is something professional creatives KNOW - if you turn your craft into a habit, you will never be blocked or stuck or uninspired. When it becomes a habit, what you create will not be dependent on or tied to anything.

And that way, you show your creativity the respect it deserves! When you show up every day, your Muse will start to show up regularly, too.

“The way you treat your creativity is the way it treats you.”

It can’t be all fun and play, you're not a kid anymore. You have a responsibility toward your craft, so man (or woman) up and show up.

Fun fact:
Did you know that a lot of creatives start from a daily project? 

Suggestion:
Set a challenge for yourself where you have to create every day. Make it something super simple, so you can enjoy it and follow through. 

Example: Caroline Zook created one abstract affirmation every day for 10 months, and she ended up not only making it a habit, but also discovering her style, improving her craft, and making thousands of dollars. Huzzah! 

Limiting Belief #2:
"Creativity is sacred, so no…"

No forcing it to happen. No asking money for it. No using selling tactics to undermine it. No selling out. No forcing it. No changing it for other people. No creating without the holy aid of alcohol and drugs...

Ahem. What a bunch of bullcrap.

A lot of problems can arise from romanticizing anything.

I’ll tell you what’s really sacred… showing up and doing the work is sacred. Sharing your work with the world is sacred. Doing anything you can to make sure that your art is seen and heard and felt, is sacred. Whether that involves putting up a shop and promoting it on social media or not.

There is no such thing as “selling out.”

Look at the people who use that phrase. Have they made any money from their passion? Or are they feeling bitter about other people's successes and trying to make you them feel bad? I see you, limiting belief, but this is PRIDE talking.

They say "don't let fear drive your car," but you shouldn't let your sins drive it either. If pride drove the car, you'd never ask for directions when you get lost. If gluttony drove the car, you'd be stopping at every gas station. If wrath drove the car, there'd be a lot of road rage going on. If sloth drove the car, you wouldn't even be driving. And don't even let me think about lust...

I’m as much of an idealist as anyone else. 

“But I want you to recognize that you deserve to realize your creative dreams and to spread your “art” as far as you can because the world deserves to experience it.”

If that's selling out, I'm a purple cow dancing to Beyonce.

Limiting Belief #3:
"I’m not good enough, it’s not good enough."

By far, this is the worst thing you can think about yourself or your craft!

It’s not like you’re thinking it actively all day every day, but there’s an active script running behind the scenes and whether you can feel it or not, it’s there, and it’s screwing up your chances for creative success.

So what are we gonna do about it?

First of all, I am going to recommend 2 books to you, which my coach recommended to me, which have helped many women get out of this thinking. The first is You Are a Badass and the second is Playing Big.

I guarantee that if you read even a part of both, you will start seeing things – and yourself, and your habits – in a new, more optimistic light.

Take action.

1. Go to the mirror, look at your reflection and smile.

2. List what you admire about yourself, the things you've accomplished, that you're proud of. Compliment yourself. Do it for a few minutes.

3. If you can't do it because it's "silly," write it down.

When people do this, 2 things happen:

1. They have this amazing feeling of love and respect toward themselves. When I do it, I actually cry tears of happiness, especially if it's been a while.
2. They are amazed at how much they're accomplished in their lifetime! We humans have this "negative bias," which means we worry and fear more often than we brag or celebrate, but that makes the limitations worse. 

This exercise is so vital. If possible, stop reading and go do it right now. After, come back and read the rest of the lesson. And do the exercise every day because it’s one of those tipping habits that make a real difference

(We'll talk about it in Lesson 5!)

Anything to do with bettering your mindset has a great "tipping" quality, meaning it doesn't just affect what you want it to affect, but also kind of pulls everything else in a bundle of joy and positive change, and you're a better (wo)man for it. So the more you work on your inner dialogue, the better.

Take action. 

1. Think about your creativity, hold it in your mind.

2. Freewrite about your creativity and how you feel about it - do you feel great or disappointed? What exactly is it that delights or disappoints you about your creativity? Alternatively, write a letter to your creativity or a letter from your creativity to you, as suggested by Elin Loow.

3. Look at what you wrote down and identify any limiting beliefs you have about your creativity. You have to know what they say.

4. Brainstorm ways to change the script/story!

“If you try to change your habits while you hold onto your limiting beliefs, you will not only fail, but you will also spend a looong time with your best buds, frustration and helplessness.”

So yeah...

Those are my top 3 choices of limiting beliefs that creatives have, and if you can turn those beliefs around in your head, I guarantee your life - and creative process - will change for the better. Like I said before, there are tipping habits, but I also believe there are tipping beliefs. As in, if you believe them, everything else will revolve around them, and you won’t make progress or reach your goals or be a best bud with your own creativity because they're right there beside you every step of the way, whispering lies and tripping you up, making you self-sabotage and miss truly amazing opportunities to shine.

On the other hand, if your tipping beliefs are positive, your entire creative life and process will transform to accommodate your new belief system.

Finally, I have a story to tell ya…

The story.

My mother and I have always been into self-development books.

(Can you tell.)

So, often, when one of us says something limiting or negative, the other will say “let’s change the script” or “let’s change the focus.” This means that you take what you just said or thought and turn it into something much better.

It's a great strategy that has served me well for many years!

The other day a similar thing happened, except this time I corrected myself. (IKR!) It literally never happens, but this time I caught myself saying something like “I spent the whole day doing (this) when I should have been doing (that), how silly am I." But then, I realized that what I'd just said was limiting me to always being silly and doing things out of order and just doing everything wrong, and that this was no way to treat myself or my creative process.

So I said, "No, you know what? I needed the break, and working on that thing was FUN! I needed some fun in my day, so it's a good thing I did it."

And that was that. 

I went from beating myself up to congratulating myself on doing something needed. And I accomplished it in no more than 20 seconds.

So my final plea to you is:

“Watch your stories about yourself and your creativity and make sure they’re not mean or limiting. You deserve better.”

That's all for now. Let me know how you're getting on in the comments. :)