Lesson 4:

YOUR Natural Ways

 

Hey there rebel,

So far we talked about habits and your most crippling limiting beliefs, and then we looked at your core messages and made lists of "reasons" why you struggle with them, and even brainstormed on how you can override that. 

Now we’re going to talk about something most people miss:

The point of better creative habits is not to make new habits up and try to make them stick. The point is to build on your Natural Ways, as they are what holds the key to flow, to better habits, and ultimately, to success. 

So many people say things like:

• “I don’t have many talents, so I’ll just get a job like everybody else”
• “I’m so bad at this and this, which means I will never win”
• “This worked for him/her, so I should try it as well”

All of those statements are WRONG. 

The first one is wrong because you do have talents, and I wrote about it at length in this article.

It motivated a lot of people, so check it out.

The second one is wrong because as long as you’re focusing on what you CAN’T do and ignoring what you CAN do, you'll always be in that slump. If you want to lead a badass creative life, you must stop fixating on your weaknesses and focus on your strengths.

Here's a miniguide that will help you do this!

The third one is wrong because...

Different things work for different people. 

For example, if you’re a charismatic person, you’ll be a great vlogger, but if you’re an introvert, a blog or a podcast would be much more fitting than a video format. So if you look at all the people who vlog and think, I should probably follow this trend as well, you are putting yourself at a disadvantage! 

Same goes with habits - if you decide to take up a habit that some successful person had... again, bad idea. Go with what comes naturally. 

(The only exception is when your comfort zone says something is not you and the only way to make progress is to push through it. Uncomfortable things are not always unnatural, sometimes they're just scary and worth exploring, so before calling something unnatural, make sure it's not your fear talking.)

You shouldn’t do things you hate just because someone else does them. And same thing goes for habits. Don't just adopt a habit because someone successful did it once upon a time. It has to fit YOU. 

There's nothing wrong with trying different things, of course, but sometimes, even after you try something and it doesn't fit, you're tempted to continue. 

Your audience can tell what comes naturally and what doesn’t. Your natural ways bring you peace and joy and flow. And it shows. On the other hand, when you do something that doesn't fit, you look awkward and uncomfortable.

My theory is that:

“Flow happens when you step into your most natural state.”

We are all different human beings and in those differences lie our strengths. Trouble is, most people don’t think to look there when they want to improve their lives. Most people think they should become better at things they suck at.

D’OH.

But then you’ll waste your time trying to be someone you’re not!!!

What would happen if instead, you decided to focus on your strengths and forget about your weaknesses? What would happen if you tried to figured out what your Natural Day would be like? What would happen if you let go of your limitations and became a BADASS? What would happen if you reframed some of your weaknesses and tried to see them as hidden strengths?

Obviously, your life would improve. A lot.

Here are some recordings I've made on the above topics, and I really think that some of these will expand your mindset, if not all of 'em:

Hey there rebel! In this episode of The Rebel Reset we're going to talk about your natural way and how you can honor it by embracing and not ignoring it. Trust me, life is so much better when you go with your Nature instead of conforming to external expectations. In this episode, I'll give you some questions to think about and some instances from my own life. In the end, you're a rebel because you have chosen to be yourself. So go be it. Enjoy, good luck, and rebel on. :)

This secret lesson is about honoring your natural ways and gives you a few examples from my own life.

Hey there rebels! In this episode of The Rebel Reset, we talk about your perceived weaknesses and how they may be strengths in disguise. Everything you were born with is there for a good reason - to help you on your way. Today I want you to make a list of your "weaknesses" and see if there is a way to use them to your advantage. Good luck and rebel on!

This podcast episode is about how some of your weaknesses could be actually strengths in disguise.

Are you hustling nonstop, getting exhausted and burnt out regularly? Maybe this happens because you're imposing an unnatural schedule on your body instead of following the natural flow of your energy levels. Or you're not replenishing your energy reserves. So let's find what your Natural Day would look like! Good luck and rebel on. p.s. Coaching for Creative Rebels - violetanedkova.com/coaching.

This podcast episode is about how you must sync to your circadian rhythms and create your Natural Day.

Let’s look at some examples and see why they worked for me specifically and why they may not work for you.

It's hard to pinpoint when exactly I began my work with habits...

I guess my whole life has been about self-improvement, so when things like self-development and life coaching came on the horizon I was thrilled! Finally, a language I speak! But I didn't like reading those self-help books (well, most of them) because I happen to believe the answers lie inside of us.

Meaning if you want to change something, you probably already know how to do that, but maybe you need someone's help to see it clearly. So I have always enjoyed making my own exercises and coming up with my own systems.

It's just who I am. And it may not be who you are.

And that's OK! That's more than OK.

Each of us has our own unique blend of strengths and talents (which you can discover in Now, Discover Your Strengths if you take the free test). It would be so boring and crowded if we all did the same things in the same ways. It's a great thing that we are different!

So anyway, ever since I can remember, I have been working to improve myself. And creating better habits has been HUGE in that respect.

Here are some of my better habits:

• Doing tomorrow’s work today (to avoid stress)
• Writing daily even when I don’t feel like it
• Working with an accountability partner(s)
• Mini-goals and breaking projects up into smaller bits
• "Sucking" at something for 30 days (my fave!)
• Loving affirmations and meditation

Here's why they worked for me specifically.

• I get stressed easily and when I'm stressed, my work suffers, so priority #1 is removing stress at all times, if possible
• I get very self-conscious when I create, in a way that I would question something as I'm creating it, and the only thing that's helped is to make writing a habit, so I can friggin' do it and not worry about it
• I'm a rebel, so I don't do things when I say I'll do them, which is why working with an accountability partner helps me get accountable
• Like I said, being a sprinter not a marathoner makes it difficult for me to finish big things without getting overwhelmed and abandoning the whole thing, so I always break things down and/or keep them small
• I'm a perfectionist, so openly admitting that I suck at something was liberating and has led to some interesting creative projects, but if I didn't love fun challenges so much, this method wouldn't have worked as well (I'm referring to the 30 Days of Sucking challenge)
• I have low confidence in my abilities to get things done, so being "loving" with myself (hey sexy lady) and using affirmations, both during meditation and outside of it, helps me grow my confidence and think positive (because even though most of the time I am super excited about things, I am also just as likely to get on the negative train as anybody)

You see? Those are things very specific to me.

“Sometimes progress will be achieved when you embrace your natural assets, while other times progress will be achieved when you watch out for your natural pitfalls.”

Both are just as natural.

Which is why I recommend getting to know yourself REALLY well before attempting to change any of your habits. If you don't know yourself and how you naturally work, then you might run into obstacles on your path to better habits, which could have been avoided by simply seeing what's there.

To get to know yourself:

1. Take the Myers-Briggs test (free)

2. Take the StrengthsFinder test (buy the book or pay $20)

3. Take the Four Tendencies quiz (free)

Those three tests are likely to give you a ton of insights, not only into your strengths, but your weaknesses as well, and remember, don't try to change your weaknesses, just be aware of them and focus on your strengths. 

Finally, before you apply everything you've learned, wait for the next lesson because it's going to a) blow your mind and b) make everything easier.

In lesson 5, we'll finally talk about my favorite "tipping" habits, or the habits that change everything, not just the things they're supposed to.

I believe they are the key to true change. :)

p.s. Let me know how you're getting on in the comments.