Lesson 6:
Making Habits Stick
Uhm...
You thought we were done, didn't you?
Well, what good are better habits if we can't sustain them? What's the point of having the best habits if they're going to last more than a week, eh?
So today I want to help you make sure they do. :)
1. You gotta push.
Remember those breathing exercises? Now push, puuuuuuuush.
Sustaining habits is pretty much like giving birth to an idea. First you get that moment of clarity - your water breaking - and then the resistance comes - where are the keys, honey? - but when you overcome the resistance and your natural instinct to push comes in, you're all good. The hard part is pushing yourself to get to that moment where it just starts flowing out of you.
Unfortunately, you pretty much have to push against your resistance every single time. Until it becomes easier, then easier, and then one day you're not even thinking about it. Our goal is to get you to that day.
There is no "hack" or trick that will help you sustain your better habits.
It's going to be a lot of pushing and pulling (except there won't be a baby trying to snuggle back into you). You're going to feel the resistance all the time. And you'll have to catch yourself and remember WHY you're doing this.
- Why do you want better creative habits?
- Why is this important to you?
- Why do you want to stop being a perfectionist/etc.?
- Imagine how it feels when you're on the other side of your challenge. How does it feel having overcome it?
It'd be really helpful to have your reason somewhere you can see it.
Put it on your desktop, your ceiling, your mirror... and keep it there until your habit sticks. Until one day you look at it and realize you'd forgotten all about it and you were successful. Until then, keep it where you can see it.
I think a big reason for us not being able to keep our resolutions is because we don't have our motivations visible. You can't just self-motivate forever. And if your motivation is not strong enough, then you might as well not try.
Have you seen Gretchen Rubin's "four tendencies quiz"?
It's amazing! It tells you what your personality type is and how that makes it easier or harder for you to motivate yourself. Naturally, I'm the rebel personality.
2. It takes 30 days.
Science says it only takes about 30 days for a habit to stick. So if you can sustain it for that long, you're golden. Habits are great because they just kinda run by themselves, without you having to think about them or control them... but first you have to solidify the habit. 30 days, baby.
A lot of creatives achieve that by starting 30 day or 365 day projects.
If you can do the same thing every single day for that long, then it shows how bad you want it. It shows your annoying monkey mind and inner critic who's THE BOSS - you are! It shows how committed you are to improving your life. And it shows how serious you are about your craft, how important it is to you, and how you're ready to show up for it every day and eat that sh*t sandwich.
(Liz Gilbert says every dream has a sh*t sandwich attached to it.)
The beautiful thing is, the more you do 30 day projects, the easier they become. It's a great exercise in consistency, if that's your core challenge.
So go ahead and look for a challenge that runs for 30 (or more) days!
National Novel Writing Month happens every November, and a million writers all over the world attempt to write 50K words in 1 month.
The 100 Day Project is a global art project where artists from all over the world create something every day for 100 days and share it on Instagram under #the100dayproject.
365 Project is for photographers and works on the same principle, except you upload a photo every day for a year!
And even though some of these challenges begin at specific dates, you can always decide when YOUR challenge is going to start. Or look for people who want to do it with you. Or Google alternatives.
3. Don't break the chain.
The same thing always happens...
I start a new book or decide to write a chapter every day for a month (especially during November for National Novel Writing Month) and I keep going pretty steady for the first couple of weeks. But then the minute I fall behind or feel like I don't want to write, it gets so hard to put words down on that paper.
So one day I decide, it's not a big deal, I'll catch up the next day.
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
This is where you break the chain! If you break your habit for even one day, trust me, you won't be able to go back to it. Your brain will try to trick you into thinking it's not a big deal, you'll catch up, but nobody ever catches up.
So figure out a way to keep up your habit every day.
If it helps, set alarms. Or ask a friend to check on you. Or buy one of those annoying apps that asks you for money when you break your promise.
Do whatever it takes to stick to the daily habit.
And if you do break the chain, maybe accidentally, maybe not, don't be hard on yourself and get back to it. The minute you get hard on yourself your brain stops wanting to create, so shrug and forgive yourself, and go back to creating. That's why I've been able to do 40 days of #100DaysofFlashFiction, so far.
4. Try this "hack."
If you're just as much a rebel as I am, it's difficult to keep any habit you're not totally crazy about... whether you're supposed to keep yourself accountable or someone else is. And no matter how hard you want to keep your new, better habit, it always fizzles out, along with your attention span.
*oooh what does this button dooo*
Which is why I'm going to give you my "hack" - it's a tool called focusmate where you get to work alongside someone else and you both see each other through your cameras, so cheating is really hard to do. Basically, I feel so guilty when I know someone's watching me, that I just do whatever I said I would do for that "session," and you can try it with one of your new habits.
For example, you can schedule a virtual coworking session every day on focusmate, at the same time, and you can do whatever you promised yourself to do at that time because then there's no escaping it. You can do this until your habit solidifies, it's really helped me so much to become better at being consistent and completing things, two challenges I have struggled with in the past, and I still do 2-4 sessions every day, so I'm up to 100.
Hopefully, I'll see ya there. :)
GOOD LUCK!!!
I am so proud of you, for all the work you've done, for your commitment to your creativity, and for doing the work to make your new habits stick.
It would mean the world to me if you told me if this course helped you!
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